Party Time in Rivendell
by Silver6
Summary: After some persuading from the hobbits, Elrond decides to throw a party. All hell breaks loose. Characters are completely OOC. Rated for some swearing, some mention of slash and a few characters taking their clothes off. *Revised*
1. Annoying Elrond

A/N: This is something Billy and I came up with late at night when we were both on a sugar high. It's just an idea that we came up with and had to write down. Maybe we'll continue it, but only if enough people like it.

Disclaimer: We don't own anything to do with Middle Earth, but I want to own Boromir and Billy wants to own Legolas. Unfortunately that's never gonna happen.

Summary: After some persuading from the hobbits, Elrond decides to throw a party. All hell breaks loose. Characters are completely OOC. Rated for some swearing, some mention of slash and the like and a few characters taking their clothes off. 

Party Time in Rivendell

In Rivendell, Merry and Pippin stood in front of Elrond with their arms folded and a scowl on both their faces.

"But why can't we have a party?" Merry whined. "It would be a lot of fun"

"We can't have a party because this is my house and I say so" Elrond replied, glaring down at the two hobbits. They glared back at him.

"I hate it when big people won't give you a reason for saying no" Pippin said to Merry, completely ignoring the elf lord. "If you ask me, he is getting way too serious"

"I agree" Merry said with a nod. "A party might loosen him up a bit"

"I know what you are trying to do" Elrond told them, a smirk on his face. "And it isn't going to work. We are not having a party and that is that"

"Then maybe this will" Merry looked up at him and grinned mischievously. "Let us have a party and we won't tell anyone about when we caught you in Arwen's purple knickers." He broke off as Pippin let out a snort of laughter.

"You would not dare" Elrond took a threatening step towards them. Merry and Pippin only smiled. 

"Our lips are sealed," they promised. "If you just let us have a party. Agreed?"

"Do I have a choice?" Elrond said with a sigh. The two hobbits gave a cheer and ran out of the room. Elrond sank into a chair, his head in his hands. He could only imagine what chaos would ensure as a result of him agreeing to a party.

"I hate hobbits," he muttered under his breath, making a firm resolution to kill Merry and Pippin as soon as he had the chance.


	2. The madness begins

The Madness Begins

****

Merry and Pippin ran out of Elrond's room, ignoring the vase that flew out behind them. As they turned a corner, they collided with Elrohir who was talking with Elladan and Glorfindel. 

"Hey guys" Pippin said excitedly. "Guess what?"

"You are going to go and drown yourselves?" Elrohir guessed in a bored tone. Pippin looked upset.

"Why is everyone always so mean to us?" he asked sadly. "And after we nearly got killed by Elrond too."

"What have you done this time?" Glorfindel muttered, glancing towards Elrond's room as if he expected his friend to run out screaming at them all. "If you've upset him again…"

"They are always upsetting father" Elrohir cut in. "Yesterday, Elladan and I found him sobbing on his bed saying how much he hated hobbits and he wished they were all dead"

Elladan nodded and laughed while Merry frowned. "Now isn't that nice," he said to Pippin. "What have we done to make him hate us so much?"

Glorfindel and the twins looked at each other and shook their heads. Elladan spoke first.

"Well, there was the time one of you dropped a cup of water off the balcony and it landed on his head," he said, trying hard to control his laughter and obviously failing. "Then you let all the horses out of their stables and my brother and I had to get them all back."

"That was an accident," Pippin protested. The three elves took no notice. 

"Then you knocked his favourite statue into the pond," Elrohir continued. "Humiliated him at his dinner party in front of lots of important guests, including Galadriel and Celeborn."

"Flooded the first floor bathroom," Glorfindel added. "And…"

"Alright, alright" Merry interrupted. "The point is that he's clearly over-reacting."

"They were all accidents," Pippin added. "We didn't mean to do them. Or make Elrond mad."

"I know, little one," Elladan patted him affectionately on the head. "The thing is, you have far too many accidents. That's why Father gets so angry."

"Oh," Pippin tried to think about this, but he couldn't quite figure out what Elladan was getting at. Accidents were accidents, weren't they? He thought about it for about two seconds, and then remembered why he and Merry had stopped in the first place. 

"Oh yes," he continued. "Anyway, we asked Elrond if we could have a party."

"And he said yes," Merry continued, jumping up and down. "We're going to have a party, and you are all invited."

Without waiting for a reply, they ran off to find their next victims. The elves exchanged a glance.

"Poor Elrond" Glorfindel muttered, shaking his head. "I wonder how in the world they got him to agree to that."

"They have their ways, I imagine" Elrohir shrugged. "Well, I think a party would be a good idea. We all need to relax, especially father. He can get way too uptight about things sometimes."

"Well I care not," Elladan said casually. "Providing there is a lot of alcohol, I'll be happy."

"Yes, but we cannot let your father drink too much," Glorfindel reminded the twins. "Do you remember what happened last time?"

"Was that the time he went skinny dipping in the lake?" Elrohir asked innocently. "Or the time when he tried to seduce you and wouldn't take no for an answer?"

"Wasn't it both?" Elladan said in reply. "When father gets drunk, he finds it very difficult to keep his clothes on."

Unfortunately, Elrond came around the corner just in time to hear his son's last words. A table went flying as the Lord of Rivendell fainted. While Glorfindel hurried to his friend's side, the brothers looked at each other and smiled, turning away so that Glorfindel would not see them. Down below they could hear Pippin and Merry arguing with Gandalf.

"Well" Elladan said thoughtfully. "I guess this party is going to be a good one"


	3. Time To Party

**Time to Party**

Two nights later, everyone was gathered in Rivendell's main hall along with an unhealthy supply of alcohol. Elladan, Elrohir and Glorfindel were quietly talking amongst themselves. The three elves had been steadily drinking since the alcohol had first been brought up from the cellar and as a result they were all slightly worse for wear. Elrond was standing with Gandalf in the corner and both of them were scowling at Merry and Pippin. Aragorn and Arwen were making out in another corner and everyone was doing their very best to ignore them, without much success. Gimli and Legolas were sitting with the four hobbits. The party was beginning.

"Elrond doesn't look very happy." Pippin remarked. "I think he needs to relax a bit."

"You can hardly blame him," Legolas said immediately. "He's probably worried that he isn't going to have a house at the end of this party" He poured himself another drink and drained it in one. "Do you know why I love being an elf?" he continued.

"Because," he went on, not waiting for an answer. "We can drink lots and lots before we get drunk."

"Not in father's case!" Elrohir yelled across the room. "He's too old now. Can't stand the pace any more."

"Elladan!" Elrond roared. "That isn't true."

"That was Elrohir." Elladan said, scowling at his younger brother. "But anyway, it's true is it not?"

"Of course it's not true," Elrond glared at his twin sons and picked up his glass. "I'll show you that I can still keep up with you young ones."

"Oh great," Glorfindel muttered. "Now look what you've done."

"It doesn't matter," Legolas said with a shrug. "By the time he starts taking his clothes off, everyone will be too drunk to care."

In the corner, Frodo and Sam were holding hands, but everyone was pretending no to notice. Pippin and Merry ran over to the elves.

"Hey Elrohir!" Merry yelled at the top of his voice. "Legolas told us that you are in love with Glorfindel. Is it true?"

All heads turned to look at the elves. Elrohir lowered his head in embarrassment. Glorfindel however, wasn't prepared to be humiliated by a pair of hobbits.

"I'm going to kill you when I get hold of you," he yelled, attempting to get to his feet. Merry and Pippin gave a yell and fled only to be caught by Elrond and Gandalf, who grabbed them by their necks and lifted them off the ground.

"Fool of a Took!" Gandalf yelled, so loudly that Legolas had to cover his ears. "You should learn to keep your nose out of other peoples business!"

"What is his problem?" Gimli muttered to Legolas. "It is supposed to be a party."

"It's because he's just an antique of a wizard," Frodo told them. He and Sam laughed. "You are so clever, Mr Frodo" Sam said, looking at Frodo adoringly. "That is why I love you."

"Yes, yes," Aragorn came over to them with Arwen in tow. "Sam, we've all known for years that you love Frodo. We don't need to be reminded of it every five minutes."

"But Mr. Frodo might forget," Sam told them, his voice trembling. "And he might find someone else."

"Good grief," Aragorn shook his head. "I think I'll go and talk to the elves. At least they don't go on and on about being in love"

"Stupid hobbits," he heard Elladan say as they went over. "Wish they would all die."

"Exactly what father said," Elrohir agreed, raising his glass. "Death to hobbits."

"Death to hobbits!" they all cheered. 

Meanwhile, Gandalf and Elrond had finally let the hobbits go and they came wandering over to talk to Aragorn. 

"Why does everyone always accuse us of causing trouble?" Merry asked him. "When we say things, we only say the truth. Like when we say that Glorfindel looks like a girl…" he broke off as an empty glass bottle flew across the room, narrowly missing his head. "See what I mean?" he finished lamely. "No one likes us."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Gimli muttered sarcastically. Aragorn heard him and laughed. Pippin scowled.

"Just because you guys can't stand to hear the truth," he said solemnly. "Doesn't mean that you have to take it out on us."

The room fell silent as everyone glared at the two very irritating hobbits. Finally Pippin broke the silence.

"I know what we need," he said excitably. "We need some fun,"

"You don't say." Frodo mumbled under his breath. Pippin ignored him and carried on. 

"So lets play a game," he continued. Everyone continued to look at him.

"What sort of game?" Arwen asked finally. "I'm not sure I want to play anything that you two have come up with."

"It's called Truth or dare," Merry said with a grin. "We have to take turns at asking someone if they want truth or dare. If they answer truth, they have to answer a really embarrassing question. If they pick dare, they have to do a dare."

"I get it," Elladan nodded. "Why not? Count me in." 

"And me," Elrohir agreed and Glorfindel quickly followed suit. Aragorn and Arwen hesitated for a moment, and then nodded their agreement. Frodo, Sam, Gimli and Legolas immediately agreed, Elrond was too drunk to protest and even Gandalf grudgingly agreed to play. They all gathered in a circle on the floor and looked at Pippin expectantly. 

"Right then," the youngest hobbit said, looking around and grinning. "I chose…" 


	4. Truth or Dare

**Truth or Dare**

"Gimli," Pippin continued. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," the dwarf said immediately. "And make it good."

"Fine," Pippin gave him an innocent smile. "I dare you to kiss…Legolas."

"Nooooo!" Gimli and Legolas yelled at the top of their voices. "Never!"

"Have you ever noticed?" Elladan whispered in Elrohir's ear. "That Legolas screams like a girl?"

"So does Glorfindel" Elrohir smirked. Glorfindel scowled. 

"Anyway," Merry continued. "You have to do it, Gimli. You picked dare and you can't change it now."

"Oh all right." Gimli grumbled. "Legolas, try to bear in mind that I do not want to do this, even though you are my friend."

Legolas nodded and moved over so that he was sitting by Gimli. The dwarf leant forward and gave the elf a small kiss…which gradually turned into a very long kiss. Merry and Pippin began giggling, while everyone else looked away in disgust

"Get them off each other," Arwen said finally. "It's just too horrible."

"I agree with you completely," Aragorn looked traumatised. "Somebody do something."

"I will," Frodo reached over and tapped Legolas on the shoulder. "Hey you two," he said politely. "Maybe you could, you know, get a room later or something, but in the meantime, Gimli we are waiting for you to pick someone to go next."

"Oh…sorry." Gimli gave an embarrassed laugh. Pippin nudged Merry.

"Look at Legolas." he whispered to his cousin. "He's gone a funny shade of pink. He must have enjoyed that."

"I did not enjoy that one little bit," Legolas informed them, overhearing Pippin's comment. "Not at all."

"And neither did I," Gimli agreed, crossing his fingers behind his back. "It was just a dare, nothing more. Sam, truth or dare?"

"I think I shall go with truth," Sam said quickly. "I do not want to kiss anyone except Mr Frodo."

"Um…okay," Gimli thought for a moment. "Tell us your most recent fantasy about Frodo."

"Oh no." Merry muttered. "Believe me, you do not want to hear this."

"I agree with you completely," Aragorn nodded. "But at least hearing about Frodo and Sam isn't as bad as hearing about…say Gimli and Legolas." The elves all murmured their agreement.

"Well," Sam glanced at Frodo and blushed. "I go to visit Mr. Frodo and he is lying on the kitchen table covered in chocolate body paint and strawberries…" he trails off, a dreamy look on his face. Merry and Pippin make gagging noises.

"Shut up," Frodo told them. "Just because you are jealous because you aren't getting any."

"Actually…" Gandalf said quietly, and then changed his mind, "Sam, if you could come back to reality for a moment, I believe it is your turn to pick someone."

"Okay then," Sam looked around the circle, and then his eyes fell on Gandalf again. "Gandalf, truth or dare?"

"Dare" Gandalf said after a moment's hesitation. "There is no bad dare you could possibly give me."

"Here we go," Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out some pipeweed. "Here is some real pipeweed," he continued. "I dare you to smoke it. All of it."

"No problem," Gandalf took the pipeweed and lit his pipe. "This is too easy."

"Great," Elrond groaned, to no one in particular. "Now my house is going to stink of pipeweed too."

"Don't worry father," Elladan called over. "Since Merry and Pippin wanted this party, I am sure that they will be more than happy to clean up tomorrow."

The elves smiled as Pippin looked at Merry in horror. 

"Don't worry Pippin," Merry whispered reassuringly. "Hopefully they would have forgotten about it by tomorrow." 

Pippin looked at Glorfindel, who gave him an evil smile. "Elrond may forget," he whispered to Merry, with a shiver. "But I don't think that the other elves will let us get away with it."

Gandalf had finished the pipeweed and was lying on the floor, completely doped up. Elrond nudged him with his foot. 

"Wake up Gandalf," he said. "It's your turn to pick someone."

"Then I choose you," Gandalf looked up at the elf lord, his eyes unfocused. "Truth or dare."

"Truth," Elrond said uneasily. Gandalf smiled.

"Is it true that you like to wear Arwen's clothes when she isn't around?" the wizard asked. Elrond went red and mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?" Elladan asked. "Louder father. So we can all hear you."

"Yes," Elrond muttered, his face burning. "Yes I do."

"Oh yuck," Arwen looked ready to throw up. Everyone else, including Aragorn was rolling around on the floor, crying with laughter. "Father, that is disgusting! I can't believe you of all people…"

"Well I didn't want to say anything," Elrond protested. "Oh what the hell. It's my turn now, and I'm going to make sure that person really gets humiliated. I chose…" 


	5. Embarrassing Hobbits

Embarrassing Hobbits

****

"Pippin," the elf lord said finally. Glorfindel, Elladan and Elrohir sat up straighter and smirked. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," the hobbit said at once. Elrond rubbed his hands gleefully. Merry looked a little worried.

"I dare you to go to the laundry room," he told the young hobbit. "Find two items of female clothing, put them on and run around this room in them three times."

"Can I change to dare?" Pippin asked, his face already beginning to turn red. The elves and Aragorn shook their heads.

"Do the dare!" they chanted. "Do the dare!"

"Go on, Pippin," Merry whispered. "Just get it over with. I promise that I won't laugh at you."

"Well, you had better not," Pippin muttered. "Or I'll never forgive you." He got up and ran out of the room, reappearing a few minutes later wearing a long, jewelled robe that obviously belonged to a woman. 

"Where's the second article of clothing, Pip?" Frodo called out. "Show us!"

Pippin scowled and lifted the enormous robe to reveal that he was wearing female underwear. As he began to run around, everyone in the room roared with laughter, Merry included.

"That was utterly brilliant," Elrond said as Pippin took off the clothes and sat down. "It made me feel so much better."

"You said that you wouldn't laugh," Pippin whispered to Merry. "But I'm going to get you back. Merry," he said louder so that everyone could hear. "Truth or dare."

"Truth," Merry said at once. "I'm not doing something like you did just then. No way."

"Well then," the young hobbit gave an evil grin. "My question is who in this room have you been physically attracted to at any point in our travels."

"You can't make me answer that!" Merry sounded horrified. "Pippin…"

"You have to answer the question," Pippin said smugly. "It's the rules."

"I'm going to kill you tomorrow," Merry muttered as he glanced around the room. "Let me see, Aragorn, Legolas, Frodo…"

"You aren't having Mr. Frodo," Sam grabbed Frodo's hand. "He's mine."

"Go on," Pippin encouraged. "You know that isn't all."

"Boromir, although he isn't in this room," Merry went on. "Elrond and…" he lowered his voice and mumbled something.

"Louder!" Elrond called, determined to humiliate the hobbits as much as possible. "So we can hear you."

"Gandalf." Merry said a little louder and hung his head as the colour rose to his cheeks. Gandalf was still stoned so he did not react, whereas half of the room looked horrified and the other half were laughing.

"I like this game," Elladan whispered to his brother. "I really, really like this game."

"It's certainly good for embarrassing hobbits," Gimli agreed. "And other people you don't like."

"Aragorn," Merry said quickly, anxious to draw the attention away from himself. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare!" the man said confidently, taking yet another drink. "Let's see what you can come up with that could faze a king!"

"You should not have said that," Arwen whispered to her husband. "You really should not have said that."

"I dare you," Merry paused for a moment and then his eyes lit up as he was suddenly struck with an idea. "I dare you to shave your whole head."

A moment of silence followed as the whole room looked at Aragorn. Much to their surprise, the man threw back his head and laughed.

"It appears that you were right, darling," he said to Arwen. "Of all the things…well then, someone get me a razor."

In front of them, with a little help from Frodo, Aragorn shaved his entire head, sending lock after lock of his hair falling to the floor. Some of them were a little surprised, particularly Arwen and Elrond, but they were too drunk to care.

"Bet he's going to regret that tomorrow," Elladan whispered to his brother. "Tell you what, when he passes out tonight, shall we shave off his eyebrows too?"

"That would be amusing," Legolas said, overhearing the conversation. "Although what will the people of Gondor think when they see their king with no hair and no eyebrows?"

"That he has some disease that causes hair loss," Glorfindel suggested. "Or that he ahs lost his mind. One of the two."

Aragorn had just completed his dare, and had sat back in the circle with a completely bald head, when the door opened and a familiar figure marched in.

"That's nice," he was muttering under his breath. "Throw a party but don't think to invite me."

There was another long moment of silence while everyone stared at the new guest in amazement. Frodo spoke first.

"Hello Boromir," he greeted. "We're having a party."

A/N: A big thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. We are so glad that people like this. We have a couple more chapters planned, but we need a few suggestions for truths or dares, namely for: Legolas, Elladan, Elrohir, Frodo, Arwen, Glorfindel and Boromir, although suggestions for any characters are welcome. Thinking of them is the hardest part of writing this, so if you can give us a hand then we'll be able to get the next chapter up soon. 


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